More humor from the Homestead...

A lovely solicitation letter from my big brother...

Dear Friends & Family,

If you're receiving this message, then you're in my address book. (Please try to contain your excitement.)

I'm sure most of you know that C. and I now have two children, S. and B. Attached are more recent photos to give you some idea what the tykes look like. No matter. B. is now fifteen months and has begun attending a "Mother's Day Out" program at a local church. While this has been wonderful for C., it brings with it something those of you with children already know: whenever there is a church or school involved, that means there's a fundraiser. I know what you're asking yourself. "A fund raiser? For fifteen month-olds?"

Yes. Fifteen-month olds. Apparently, children are a more effective selling tool while still in diapers.

This particular event is through Reader's Digest and includes articles from the entire spectrum of youth sales. Think candles, chocolates, home gifts, wrapping paper, magazines, and a variety of electronics. Fifty-percent of all proceeds go to his school. Remember... WHAT you buy is not nearly as important as the fact that you bought something. (I'm only joking. We're certain that there's good stuff in there for reasonable prices. Really.)

You're even able to purchase items, online. Isn't technology grand?

*Link Removed*

Let me add that this fundraiser began sometime in early October. Mistakenly, the responsibility of groveling for donations fell onto my shoulders. And, if the documentation we discovered today is correct, the drive wraps up this Friday, October 27. Try to imagine this akin to those late night exercise equipment ads. "Act now, or else."

A few final notes. If you have or are expecting children of your own, we know that you'll have these, too. We'll be more than happy to support your child's good cause when the time comes. And, please note that I sent this e-mail, myself, and chose not to use the "automated" tool at their site. All this in an effort to minimize your "spam." I'm caring that way. What can I say?

We hope this message finds you all well and we thank you for your support.

G.

ps. Some of you may have noticed that the attached photos are not of our children, but Suri Cruise and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. This was not an oversight. Wanna see the kids? You should buy something.